


Out of Time

by oneatatime



Category: Kamen Rider Drive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 07:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4821095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneatatime/pseuds/oneatatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About Go, and Chase, and friendship.</p><p> </p><p>This is set between episodes 45 and 46. Spoilers for 45. Mentions Shinnosuke/Go in particular, but various other relationships can also be inferred with various amounts of squinting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [borrowedphrases](https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowedphrases/gifts).



 

#2

Go thudded back into himself as Banno slashed him across the stomach, sending him reeling back. He was grieving, furious, hated that Chase was dead, especially to save _him_ – 

But then Chase ran in front of him and took the next hit from Banno. 

He didn’t quite work out what was happening before Chase died. 

#6 

He pulled something. Somehow. And everything - paused - around him. He blinked, and stood up. Out of his body. There was a faint feeling, a sniff of a whiff of a feel, of a cord stretching from his ankle to his body's ankle, but it didn't seem to impede him walking across to Chase, and he couldn't actually see it. 

He was aware of the pain, in a far off way. But it was like being in the dentist's chair. Everything hurt, but it didn't seem to matter. He put gentle fingertips to Chase's hair, wonderingly, wishing he could bring him out too. There was a hint of softness against his fingertips. Only a hint. He lost the feel of it, and his fingers went right through Chase's hair.

A lurch inside him, and he found himself slammed back into his body again. Nausea ripped through him, followed an instant later by pain.

Followed another instant later by Chase's death, at which point his own pain didn't seem to matter at all. 

 

#7

Okay, so he had the hang of it now. He still didn’t know who was doing this to him. Or how. But he was being brought back every time, dragged through time, somehow, to save Chase. He got yanked out of his body not long after Chase died. Not long after he killed Banno. Then shoved back in during the fight. 

It had to be to save Chase. 

He hadn’t managed it yet. He clutched at Chase, feeling Chase’s unnatural strength in the muscles in his forearm under Go’s fingers, and babbled the quickest explanation of his life. _“You die every time this happens **and you can’t die I can’t let you,** please Chase-“_

But there was blood in his mouth, and the words didn’t come out right, and Chase was already running at Banno with the impression of a worriedly concerned look from him blazing in Go’s mind. 

000 rose into the air, and blew apart. 

#10

Go could pause, now, during the cycle, for entire minutes. Intentionally. 

His hands hurt from punching Banno, even though he couldn't actually touch him. Not properly. He was like smoke moving in mist. 

(His throat hurt, too, but he wasn't sure why.)

He looked at Chase. At the expression on his face, frozen concern, determination, self-sacrifice, as he was about to begin his run at Banno. (There was fear under it, too. He knew it. Chase was one of the noblest people he knew, but he was scared for himself. Because he wasn't just a stinking Roidmude, he was a _person_ , and Go had never been able to tell him he knew that.) 

Go swallowed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

He'd have to try again on the next cycle. Right now? There was nothing he could do to move Banno, or to move Chase. He was out of time. 

#11

He'd managed to get himself back a tiny bit earlier. More experience had given him this control, he thought, unless his secret benefactor – or torturer – was doing it to him. But there was a limit to it. 

It was just after Heart had called for Shin-niisan and Medic to go with him to fight Banno’s creation. (Ha. Wasn’t he Banno’s creation, too?) He couldn’t seem to make himself get any earlier than that. Infuriating. Couldn’t take a minute to actually warn Chase. To enlist help from Shin-niisan, or, God help him, from Heart or Medic, to save Chase’s life. 

~~(To save Chase from his attempt at saving Go’s own worthless, stupid life…)~~

He could pause, a little, before the cycle started again. Sometimes during the cycle. But only for a few minutes. Long enough to think. Everything would be frozen and he'd be able to get up out of himself for a moment, everything around him unreal. Then he'd get slammed back into his body. 

He could change the details, a little. If he attracted Chase’s attention earlier, then Chase would come to him earlier, and generally they’d fight side by side for a little before Banno overwhelmed them both. But on every single cycle, Banno tried to attack Go, Chase took the hit, and 000 rose into the air, and blew apart. 

This time, he hoped it’d be different. He’d fought more cannily, now he had more experience of fighting the thing that was never his father. He’d faked being more injured than he was (though the specks of blood on his hand when he’d coughed hadn’t been a great sign). 

Chase fell into his arms, and he managed to shove Chase back – to Chase’s great surprise – and flung himself at his father instead. 

Banno kicked him in the stomach, and he flew six feet through the air. White fire blazed down his side where he’d impacted the wall, and he fell. 

Chase ran forward...

Then 000 rose into the air, and blew apart. 

#15

There had to be a way. There HAD to. He had to find something to save both of them. Chase didn’t deserve to die, even if he was a Roidmude. He’d… he’d been pretty decent, really, and Go knew that. Had known that all along. 

He had to keep trying. 

#16

…he had to.

#17

(There had to be something to do.)

#18

Maybe if he really infuriated Banno. Made himself a bigger target. At least if he got killed first, Chase might have a moment to find another solution (because it wasn’t like Go had any fucking idea about any other solution). 

He lay on the ground uselessly gasping for air, vision filming over, the edges of Chase’s licence cutting into his fingers, as Chase died. 

 

#39

He'd managed to take it back a little further. It made him feel nauseous, and he couldn't push it too much, but he could get a tiny bit longer with Chase. 

He'd managed to explain exactly nothing useful, though, so far. Chase didn't hear, or there wasn't time, or Chase gave him that sympathetically concerned look that said 'are you suffering from some human inability to communicate'. It was so _frustrating._

 

#77

Go couldn’t escape. Couldn’t change it. 

“I'm so sorry,” he managed to Chase. Chase heard that, but just frowned at him. 

Chase ran forward, then 000 rose into the air, and blew apart. 

 

#89

Go talked to Shinnosuke, sometimes. He could manage to pause things long enough that he could get a few minutes. Shinnosuke was frozen. If he unfroze everything, then Go snapped back into his own body again (and doing it from this distance had made him so sick the first time that he'd thrown up on Banno's shoes, which was oddly satisfying). 

He was better at this, now, and he figured that if he had to keep living like this forever? Well, at least he could talk to his Shin-niisan. 

He gave Shin-niisan a wry look, as he hunkered down on his haunches, wrists on his knees, hands dangling between. "You'd think I'd know better by now, Shin-nii," he said tiredly. "If you could hear me, you'd tell me how to fix this. Or you'd at least come with me to fix it. Then I could get all of us free from this." 

Shinnosuke didn't move, didn't speak, not that Go had expected otherwise. He was in Type Tridoron. Foot raised, having just kicked a Reaper. Go could picture the determined expression on his face through the helmet. 

Medic and Heart were off to one side. Depended on when he got here, really. Sometimes they were split up. Three separate people. Sometimes they were in a clump, fighting as one. (It made Go feel a little better about probably dying of his injuries. If Shin-nii had Heart and Medic, and if neechan had Shin-nii and Shin-nii had neechan, then maybe they'd all be all right in the end.) 

"Don't you die, Shin-nii." 

(They probably wouldn't get to any kind of end, anyway. Because he couldn't figure out how to save Chase and stop the cycle. So Shin-nii would be stuck here forever, too.)

A tug, deep inside his gut. He was getting better at identifying when he really needed to go back, and walking back was a lot less painful than being dragged back. 

He stood up, gave a mocking salute, and strolled back downstairs.

Before long, 000 rose into the air, and blew apart.

 

#93

"I'm actually not jealous at all," he told Shinnosuke, and realised he meant it. "I mean, I was, a little, at first. But I don't own you, or neechan. We haven't even had the talk about being exclusive. If you two can be happy together, I know there'll be room for me, and if that's no longer romantic as well? That's okay. I want you happy, Shin-nii, and you are such a giant pile of fail when it comes to neechan. She's not much better. Someone has to help you two get together." 

It'd be him, if he survived his injuries, and actually managed to save Chase and get them all out of this loop.

If.

He sighed, and folded his legs under him on the floor. Should've been room for Chase, too, in whatever capacity. But he was still working on that. 

...kind of.

He was out of ideas. 

#94

Go's lips curved at the memory. "Ah, you'd like this. I saw Rinna-chan's sketchbook once, when she left it open."

When he'd been ambling around the Pit, bored out of his brain, and had flicked through it with only the tiniest pang of guilt. He wouldn't go into her computer (it'd probably be booby-trapped anyway) or her bag, or into any drawers, but she'd left this out. 

"In between all the designs for form changes and weaponry, she'd doodled about ten versions of her name with Otta's. Mostly on cannons. I think their wedding will be explosive." 

He grinned, quite proud of that, but then the tugging at his centre made itself known again. He hadn't slept since all this began. He wondered briefly if he'd take the opportunity for death for himself if it came up.

Nah. He could find a way to help Chase. He had to.

(The blurring at the edges of his sense of self begged to differ, but he ignored them as hard as he could, and tossed off a less than jaunty salute to Shin-nii as he headed back down to Chase and Banno.) 

 

#98

"I always wondered about the size of the stick in your butt, Shin-nii, and now I know. You get mortified at the thought of being around neechan like that."

He grinned, letting himself revisit the memory again. He tried not to do it too often, because if he let himself sink into specific memories too frequently then they didn't seem as bright any more -

(or maybe it was that if he sank into memories, it got harder to come back, harder to remember where he was, and one time he'd 'woken' again in his own body with Banno about to strike and he'd thought it a nightmare)

\- but this was such a good one. Shinnosuke had been darting about in front of Kiriko's hospital room, with a ridiculously large bunch of flowers and box of cake or whatever in his arms. Completely unable to go in. He'd leapt like a startled gazelle when he'd realised Chase and Go were watching him. 

Was that - no, Shinnosuke hadn't moved. He was imagining it. Pity.

#101

"The problem with being in America, alone, was that I was..."

He grinned, shaky and blurred, and ran a hand back through his hair. "Was that I was in America, alone. Too easy to go off the rails. No one to brake me. Professor Harley made me... made me accountable, I suppose. And oh, I pushed him, I tried so hard to push him away." 

#102

"He never let me do that. I'm not exactly easy to love, though I know you disagree."

Shin-nii did disagree, right? Go would've given anything to hear his voice right now. To see his face. To feel his arms around him. He could touch him, sort of, but it was the ghost of a feeling and he had to really focus to even get that much. And Shinnosuke couldn't move in response. Couldn't react, to yell at him, or hug him tight, or both at once. 

(It was like when he was with the Roidmudes, before, and couldn't touch Shin-nii or neechan. Maybe it was punishment.)

 

#109

The walls felt real enough, and the floor underneath him. He'd found over time that he could let them go blurry, too, like the people. He could rise up through the floor, or walk through walls. But he hadn't done it very often. He had a vague formless suspicion that if he did that, he'd start to lose his grip. 

Same if he started paying attention to the images of Shinnosuke that he sometimes saw, telling him this or that. Occasionally sensible things like "eat your vegetables", but other times it was more like "mind the step" and what did that even mean?

#127

Go covered his mouth, and the soft, cracked laughter stopped at last. 

What grip. 

 

* * *

 

#207

…Shinnosuke shivered violently in the middle of the battle as the effect took him yet again, and then he barely ducked a hit that nearly took off his head. There was something wrong. He wasn't quite aware, but it had happened more than once, and he...

#209

It was happening over and over. He knew this was vaguely familiar. What was it reminding him of?

He moved a hand, and everything went misty, images layered upon images. That was... that was new. 

#214

...it was the same as when Go had kept dying, over and over. Well, not _quite_ the same, though there was definitely the same sense of helpless, confused desperation.

Shinnosuke swore under his breath and forced himself up out of his body again, he didn't know how, just knew he had to go and find out what the hell was happening before the cycle reset again. He had so little control. Probably meant someone else was doing this. 

 

#230

Didn't matter what point he got up out of himself. If he was on the floor having just been thrown out of his henshin, or fighting in Type Tridoron. Every single time, he was in wispy civilian form, and couldn't bring Krim with him. He had a suspicion about that. 

 

#295

He couldn't quite synchronise himself with Go, and it was sending him batty. Everything would freeze, Go would appear, he'd disappear, everything would start again... and Shinnosuke would manage to pull himself free just after. He had to keep trying.

 

#299

"I know you can't hear me, Shin-niisan." A soft, cracked laugh.

With great effort, Shinnosuke forced words up out of himself, "That's a very untrustworthy laugh." 

...Go froze, and Shinnosuke pulled himself free the rest of the way. It felt odd to try to get free of his body, but it was what was needed, so he did it.

Go turned. 

" _Shin-niisan._ Is it really-"

Shinnosuke had a sudden armful of shaking Mach, and he held on tightly. "Yes, it's me. It's okay, it's okay, Go, we'll figure this out. We'll do it." 

Go's hands were fisted in his suit jacket. He felt more than heard the word against his shoulder. "Together?" 

"Together." 

"...Together," a third voice echoed. 

 

#371

"It's something to do with... the soul of a Rider," he said quietly. "I know it sounds ridiculous. Rinna gave me a scientific explanation one time, about the will of a Rider, about how we can do more when absolutely desperate. Just like a parent can. Just like a lover can. Doesn't mean Riders are better than everyone else, it's just something we can do. All I know is that it's... the soul of someone who's a Rider, or could be. That's what has enabled us all to stand up out of this and talk to each other." 

"I don't know how to take that," came a weary voice from Go's left. Go didn't look. Didn't need to. Heart would be there in exactly the same position as before, holding tight to Medic, with Medic occasionally reaching up to touch his face with gentle affection. 

They were all underground, with Chase. 

Shinnosuke gave Heart one of those wry, tired looks. He didn't say "if things were different..." He didn't have to. They all knew it. In another world, in another reality, they could've all been teammates for more than just this last battle. 

Kiriko's eyes were huge. "But I..." 

Go shook his head at her, because he could handle this one himself. He smiled at Shin-nii. "You could've been ," he told her. "If things were different. You weren't Drive for stupid reasons, not because you're not strong, or gutsy." 

Sure, he didn't actually know what those reasons were. It seemed so dumb, and of course he was glad Shin-nii was Drive, and of course he didn't want neechan getting hurt. But she'd gotten hurt anyway... and maybe he'd come to realise, along with everything else, that neechan being more aware and more engaged in everything was a good thing. That she didn't need to be protected more than others, and she did in fact already help protect everyone else. 

It'd been a revelation to see her when she'd turned up to join the group. So weary and confused, much like the rest of them. But now that Shin-nii had explained Rinna's theories... it all made sense. 

Not being a Rider wasn't an insult. There were many ways to be worthy, and Krim and Rinna and Gen-chan not being here was proof of that. But being a Rider was definitely a good thing, and something he tried to live up to, these days, and of course his sister was worthy in that way too. Of course she was. 

It would've been nice to have this particular revelation at another time, though. Maybe while they were all in the park, on a picnic. Not here. Not like this. 

Go was so very tired of all of this. Endless iterations. Watching Chase die over and over and over. It hadn't numbed him to the impact of it, not at all, but it had numbed him to the thought that he might be able to actually DO something about it. He had to try to keep focusing on that, he reminded himself guiltily. Chase deserved better. 

"So how do I fix it?"

"You have to let him go," Shinnosuke said, grief and weariness in his voice. 

Go was frozen, staring at Chase. 

"It’s not – I know the world isn’t fair, but this is _really_ unfair. You came back. So did I. _I want him to not die._ "

Shinnosuke sighed. Go felt that withering, again. That shrivelling inside his chest. But he'd barely registered it because Shinnosuke's hand touched the centre of Go's back, rubbing gently, sending warmth through him in spite of the fear. How did he know? 

Shinnosuke's hand stilled for a moment, then he began rubbing again. Slow, small circles. "I don't want him to, either."

"I can't -" Go lost the next word on a rising frustrated inhalation, a hand scraping back through his hair. Shinnosuke turned him, pulled him into a hug. "Shin-niisan, how can I do that to him?"

"Because you must." 

It was an unexpected deep voice, and it came from the foglike Chase standing behind them. 

Go's head jerked around, followed shortly by the rest of him. He felt Shin-niisan move up to stand next to him, with a soft intake of breath. 

"Chase," Go breathed. "Oh God. Oh God, oh God-"

"There is no deity present," Chase said earnestly. "Go. It is all right. I make my own decisions. I protect humans, and I protect those who are dear to Kiriko, and to me. I choose to spend myself in this way in the hope that you will then be able to end Banno." 

Go shook his head, moving closer to Chase, Shin-nii's voice echoing in his head. _The soul of a Rider..._ His body, Chase's, and Banno's were frozen in a horrible tableau a few feet behind Chase, but he ignored all that as best he could. He'd tried to talk to Chase in the few seconds they had in the battle, or in the minutes he'd sometimes managed to scrape together before it. Tried many times. But the words hadn't come out right.

Maybe he hadn't used the right words. 

"You're dear to me, too," he said finally. "There was - there was always room for you, too, with neechan, and Shin-niisan. You proved yourself trustworthy, over and over. I was an ass to you. Frequently. But I trust you a lot." 

"I know," Chase said with surprise. "Did you think that I didn't? You have shared a great deal with me, even though we are not friends, or 'buddies'." 

He pronounced the word with his usual care for words he wasn't quite familiar with. 

Chase was blurry. Definitely wasn't Go's eyes. There were so many different ways to say this. So many facets, so many nuances, so many individual parts to separate out and explain, to apologise for. "We _are_ friends," was what he settled on in the end.

Chase's eyes brightened, and the corners of his mouth turned up infinitesimally. It was a good reaction. Made little lines around his eyes crease. 

"Oh." 

Go moved forward a little more, and found himself thudding tiredly into Chase's - his friend's - arms. He wondered for a moment just where Chase had learned to hug. He'd seemed startled, but he was holding Go with just the right amount of strength and gentleness. His jacket was soft and smooth under Go's fingers.

The others gave them a moment. Then there was a long arm around him from one side, and around Chase from the other. Shinnosuke buried his face in Chase's shoulder. 

"We'll miss you, Chase," Shin-niisan's voice was steady, but he was shaking where he held onto both of them.

From the other side. Neechan. "Chase, thank you for everything." She was the opposite. Physically steady, her arm a comfort across Go's lower back. But her voice was near incomprehensible from crying. 

Heart rumbled a low soft sound, and Go felt Chase move an inch or so from the impact of Heart's hand heavy on the nape of his neck. Go looked up and smiled at Heart. Shinnosuke moved a little too, to touch his cheek gently to the side of Go's face. Heart's voice was rich with sorrow as he slid arms around them all too. "Chase. My friend." 

Medic added a hesitant touch to the side between Heart and Kiriko. Go could see her chewing on her lower lip. He _felt_ Shin-niisan's _look_ at her, simultaneous with Heart rumbling again and dragging her properly into the hug. 

"Go. Shinnosuke. Kiriko. Heart. Medic." 

He paused, and Go knew they were all thinking of the other who should be here too. Yes, they'd argued, and fought in various configurations, at various times. Tried quite deliberately to kill each other. There were all sorts of pain between them. 

But no family was without problems. 

Heart completed softly, "Brain." 

Chase nodded. "Aa. Thank you all. I will be fine. I have chosen my path, and I will stop functioning -" His breath caught. "I will die, glad that I have been both needed and... wanted." 

Heart shook his head, and was the first to separate from them. He kissed Chase's cheek, then touched Go's shoulder. Very gently, he told Go, "You can let him go." 

Medic was next. She swallowed, hard, and Go thought to himself that he'd never seen her look quite so vulnerable before. It was odd to realise that not only did he not hate Chase, who'd never really hurt him, but he also didn't really hate Medic, either. Or Heart. Or Brain. There was too much between them all, and they'd all been hurt. 

She whispered something in Chase's ear, and her lips shaped what looked like an apology. Chase shook his head and told her, "Not needed." 

Neechan kissed Chase's other cheek, very shy and earnest. Her eyes filled visibly, and Go made a soft sound as Shin-niisan reached for her, too, but she said shakily, "I'm all right. Chase... thank you." 

She moved away, standing on Heart's other side. 

Shinnosuke kissed Go's forehead, then Chase's. He hugged them both with sudden ferocity, then walked the few steps to stand next to Kiriko. He touched her shoulder, and then somehow his arm was around her, and she leaned against him. 

So it was just the two of them, now.

"My friend," Go said. He swallowed. 

Chase smiled again, just a flash of it. Similar to the smile in his licence photo. "My friend."

It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life - or in this un-life - to step back from Chase, but Go knew it had to be done. None of them could continue like this. Chase turned, lifted a hand to all of them, then walked back over to his body. 

Everyone walked away. Shin-nii had better not die. Or any of the rest of them. They'd lost too much already. 

Go's last sight was of Shinnosuke's back, a hand raised in farewell, before he settled into his body and everything started moving again. 

* * *

000 rose into the air, and blew apart

Go looked up at Banno, then everything froze for a moment. 

...Shinnosuke. The wispy ghost version of him, although Go himself was in his actual body. Was this what it'd been like for Shinnosuke , the times that he'd visited? 

"I'll see you when this is all over," Shinnosuke said, making it sound like a definite instead of a promise. It should've been impossible - Go had tried similar so many times - but somehow Shin-niisan managed to brush his lips against Go's forehead in a way that Go actually felt it. Wasn't that typical. Shinnosuke was always doing ridiculously impossible things. 

Shin-niisan snapped away suddenly, and Go hoped that he wouldn't throw up when he got back to his body. Not pleasant. But Go didn't have time to focus on that. There was too much in front of him. 

He had a battle to win. 

For Chase.


End file.
